


A Stunning Tour De Force

by Rag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Established Relationship, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 15:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12774219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rag/pseuds/Rag
Summary: "A triumph."-Dave Strider, about getting his dick sucked for the first time





	A Stunning Tour De Force

Karkat considers the box in his lap. The postal service angels have come down from the heavens and finally, finally fucking delivered it to him. The answer to his prayers, the balm to soothe his mismatching parts. The retainer to nullify his spearpoint teeth so that, after five fucking years, he can finally suck his boyfriend’s dick.

They’ve done some stuff. Karkat’s done some stuff. He’s licked at Dave’s… junk before, a lot. But he’s never been able to sink his mouth down around him, not even the tip. His teeth aren’t as razor sharp as some trolls (thanks, mutant freak genetics) they’re more than sharp enough to draw blood from that preposterously thin, soft skin, and the thought of biting into the meat of Dave’s weird human dick is enough to make his bulge retract into his fucking lungs.

He’s tried wrapping his lips around his teeth before. It went badly. He ended up with a mouth full of shockingly bright red blood that proceeded to drip and smear onto Dave’s dick and drip down his balls. Both of them panicked, Dave cried a little, they cuddled and watched TV until they fell asleep, Karkat talked like an idiot and couldn’t eat salt for a week.

Meanwhile, Dave has deepthroated Karkat’s bulge, tongue-fucked his nook, bent him over and _licked_ his fucking _wastechute_ until Karkat was soaking the sheets under them and begging him to get on with it, dragged Karkat on top of his shoulders and rocked his hips back and forth until he was fucking his face, etc. And he told Karkat that he’s super, duper happy with what he brings to the table. Really, Dave is being selfish with this shit, honestly, he just loves running his mouth (eyebrow waggle, which made Karkat roll his eyes so far back they parachuted out of his skull and dropped into his stomach). Anyways, dude, your bulge is basically a giant wormy tongue anyways, it’s so good, dude do you have any idea what it’s like having that thing wrapped around your dick, if anything _I_ wish I could do _that_ for _you_ , so don’t even feel a little bit bad about it, it’s cool.

He probably wasn’t even lying to make Karkat feel better. He probably believed, and still believes, all of that with his whole gushy, too-good heart. Well, Karkat still hates that he can’t do it. And now that he finally has access to time and resources and more living sentient beings than the 50 or so jackasses he met in the game, he decided to fucking do something about it.

A retainer would solve the teeth issue, and a retainer is here, in a plain brown box in his lap. Made just for him. He put himself through some shit to get this. Let some disgusting dentist stick fingers and metal rods and a disgusting plaster mold in his mouth, pretended he had trouble grinding his teeth at night, ordered the sturdiest option and waited weeks for it to arrive. It’ll take some time, especially with a set of chompers like those, the dentist said. Asshole.

Karkat opens up the several extraneous layers of packaging. He doesn’t rinse the thing out before and is surprised to find that it tastes like a chemical factory exploded inside of a plastic manufacturing plant. WASH WITH WARM WATER BEFORE USING screams at him from a sheet that he’d tossed aside. So stupid. Why don’t they just mail them washed? Does it take that fucking long to run some fucking water over your piece of overpriced plastic before mailing it to a paying customer? There’s probably some justification for it, and it’s probably stupid.

“What are you mumbling about over there?”

Fuck, no, he wasn’t supposed to see this.

“Tschu effer fuckink knock!” Karkat asks, shielding the boxes with his arm out of Dave’s sight.

Dave stares at him. “What? Are you okay, dude?”

Stupid piece of plastic in his stupid mouth making him talk like an idiot-

“Louk away.”

“O…kay?”

He turns around. Karkat pries the disgusting plastic out of his mouth and shoves it in a desk drawer. Probably getting spit everywhere. He’ll clean it later. He shoves all the labeled packaging back into the brown box and flips it upside down. No, not the coolest way to solve this problem, but he was panicking. It’s fine.

“Okay.”

Dave turns around.

“So, uh, what’s in the box?”

“Nothing.”

Dave just stares at him.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Nothing’s in the box?”

“Correct. The box is literally a void. Roxy made it and it nullifies everything inside of it.”

“So, it wouldn’t be, like, a totally top secret present, or anything like that. Hey, did you ever see Se7en?”

Goddamn fucking idiot smartass flaunting deductive reasoning in Karkat’s face like a fucking dick.

“ _If_ it was a present for you, I would want it to be a surprise, and I wouldn’t want you barging in as I’m trying figure out how to use it and kill the surprise literally upon arrival.”

Dave laughs. “Okay. Come find me when you’re done with whatever you’re doing in here. Whatever it is. Because I have absolutely no idea what it could possibly be. Really. Like, no idea. Except that it’s a present. But even that’s a total mystery, really-“

“Goodbye, Dave.”

“Anyways, I came here to tell you that the new game came in the mail and it has co-op.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“You need a whole hour with the box? What’s in the box, Karkat? What’s in the box?” He says it this ridiculous way that Karkat is pretty sure means he’s referencing some movie he hasn’t seen. He’ll ask him about it later.

“ _Goodbye_ , Dave.”

“See ya.”

*

Karkat washes the thing off. Not because it told him to, but because he’d stuck it inside his desk, which is full of god knows what. It improves the taste of the thing dramatically, from hell to basically nothing.

It takes about an hour before he’s confident with it. He gets used to popping it in and out with two hands, then one. He presses against it with his fingers, making sure it won’t snap in half under any kind of force, because god knows humans don’t have teeth like this and who knows if their plastic would hold up to it. But, it does, to more force than Karkat is sure he’ll ever apply to Dave’s dick. Which is good.

He tucks it safely in its little plastic carrying case and puts it in his pocket. He’ll wait until next time to pop the thing out. He entertains a little daydream about leaving it in right now, walking into the living room, pulling down Dave’s pants and just giving it a test run right now. And in his daydream, Dave is super into that. But after the interaction they just had, Dave’s shame globes are probably somewhere between shriveled into fleshy raisins and drier than two grains of sand rubbing against each other in the sun. So he tucks it in the dresser drawer, underneath a plethora of socks and underwear and shirts and books and batteries (they should probably clean this shit, eventually) and goes to play video games with Dave.

*

He manages to wait until the next time things get heated before pulling it out. That’s not a huge feat, because he only manages to wait a single day before turning the metaphorical stove on and getting the apartment toasty as fuck. He doesn’t want to wait. He would have done it that night, if Dave hadn’t been completely exhausted and fall asleep right on the couch before Karkat dragged him to bed. But Karkat kept thinking about all day. What will it taste like? What will it feel like in his mouth? Will he gag around it? Will he be able to take the whole thing in? What kind of stuff would Dave want him to do with it?

Dave puts the coffee on and catches Karkat staring at him.

“You okay, dude?”

“I’m great.”

“You look like you want to eat me alive. Did I leave the seat up or something?”

Karkat actually laughs.

“Uh, what? Are you thinking about it? I really can just, like, leave the seat down more. Or, I could make it up to you.” He waggles his eyebrows, and Karkat decides this is as good a time as any to bring it out. If Dave is up for it. He probably would be. He usually is.

Karkat closes the distance between them and kisses him. He backs him up until Dave is up against the counter and presses up close to him, close enough that he can feel the warmth of his skin through layers of clothing. Dave wraps his arms around Karkat as the kiss gets deep and messy. How will the retainer affect kissing? Dave has to be so careful with his tongue, and for all that he bites Karkat’s lips Karkat absolutely can’t return that favor, lest he bite Dave’s fucking mouth straight off his face, and has to make it up to him by pulling at his hair and kissing his neck and. Stuff. Which he does. He tugs Dave’s neck to the side gently and sucks at his skin. Dave moans, and Karkat can feel him getting hard against his stomach.

“Is- is that a yes, then? Gonna let me make it up to you? I’m down. I’m so down. Actually, I’m down even if this is about something else, I’m down whatever-“

“You didn’t leave the seat up.”

“Oh, shit, what’d I do then? Did I unplug your phone charger? Fuck, think that’s bad enough to warrant two blowjobs, oh _fuck_ Karkat-”

“No! You didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Oh, shit, okay, this is just, _good morning Dave I wanna maul you in the kitchen_ , I mean that’s hot-“

“Come to bed.”

Dave swallows and finally stops yammering. “Okay.” And then starts again. “Cool. Have I told you how hot it is when you do that? Like, we both know I’m a fucking bottom bitch sub or whatever, but that shit never gets old-“

Karkat tugs his shirt and starts heading to the room. Dave continues as they go there.

“-you know? You’re so strong, and it’s just like, oh holy shit I guess Karkat wants sex now, and it’s just so fucking hot, right, okay, and part of that is because you’re the most trustworthy dude on the planet-“

“Dave.”

“Yeah?”

“Lay on the bed and stop talking.”

“Your wish is my command, master. Are we doing that now? I mean, we don’t do the master thing, but like, okay, I can be quiet and you can be kinky about it.”

“No. We’re not doing that now. I mean, unless you want to?” Karkat asks.

“Do you want to?”

“Do you?”

“I asked you first.”

“No. Not now.” He wants to hear everything, and telling Dave to stop talking now is so not the point. Karkat wishes there was a way that he could request, like, _stop saying weird boner-killing nonsense for 20 minutes while I get you off,_ but he knows that it’s an all-or-nothing experience. And he gripes about it, but he’s way, way happier with the all side of that coin.

“Oh, okay. That’s cool. Uh. Maybe later, though.”

“Yeah, later.”

Karkat pushes him down on the bed and gets on his knees.  He pulls Dave’s pants down, which is easy as hell because they’re just sweatpants, they slide right down the bumps of his hips. Easy. Easy. Stay cool. Karkat kisses at Dave’s lower stomach and spreads his legs open, trailing his mouth lower.

“Oh, fuck yeah, what the fuck, random morning blowjobs from Karkat are the fucking bomb.”

He doesn’t even know what a Karkat blowjob _is_ yet. And neither does Karkat. Okay. Breathe. Calm down. Dave’s breaths are getting fast, and he runs his fingers through Karkat’s hair, swiping past the sensitive base of his horns and sending shivers through him. Focus.

He should have put the retainer in before. Because Dave is staring at him now, with a look in his eyes that makes it hard to think. And he really needs to think. Okay. He’s practiced this. He’s practiced this with one hand so that he can…

He takes Dave’s dick in his hand and starts to pull the foreskin softly back and forth over the tip, like Dave showed him. Dave makes a little sound and his eyes flutter shut. Karkat grabs into his pocket, pulls the retainer out. Unclasps the lock. It makes a loud pop. Well.

“What was that?”

Well.

“Nothing.” Karkat licks at him, the soft tang of his flesh filling his tongue. He hears the start of another question get cut off into another moan. But Dave is staring at him.

“Look away.”

“Is this the fabled box prize from the other day? Karkat’s mysterious desk adventure? What’s in the box? Was it-”

“Just look away! Also, I can’t _believe_ you’re referencing a fucking double-murder scene from a 90s movie while I blow you.”

Dave laughs and lays back, looking at the ceiling. Well, that could have gone better, but it could have gone worse, too. He pops the retainer in.

“Okay,” he says, and the word sounds stupid. He probably should have practiced talking with it in, too.

Dave looks down and raises an eyebrow at him.

Karkat takes one of his hands away from his hair and sucks one of his fingers into his mouth.

“Fuck, dude, you’re gonna kill me.”

By habit, Dave keeps it planted in the center of his mouth, avoiding his teeth. Karkat sucks it deeper and bites down a little. He lets the plastic rub against Dave’s finger as he swirls around it. It feels fucking stupid doing this, even though he can see Dave’s dick twitching from it. It was so much better in his fantasies, because in his fantasies he doesn’t have to acknowledge that it’s actually him in his own body doing these things.

Dave’s expression is openly confused.

“What the hell is-“

He presses down, rubs his finger along Karkat’s teeth in a manner that’s all scientific curiosity and none sensuality.

“Is that a retainer?”

Karkat nods. Swallows back a biting comment about how _no, it’s a pie, I know you like blueberry crumble now eat up, I’ll feed it to you like a mother squawkbeast feeds her young, of course it’s a fucking retainer in my mouth_ because 1) he’s sucking Dave’s finger and trying to talk would be stupid, 2) that’s not sexy and he’s _trying_ to cool it on being _such_ a dick all the time and 3) when he sucks Dave’s finger again, it all seems to click into place for him.

“Oh. Holy shit. Holy shit, Karkat, are you- oh, wow, oh, holy shit-“

Karkat lets his finger go. A gross spit trail connects between them before breaking apart. He maintains eye contact with Dave as he takes his dick in his hand, steadies it, takes the most low-key deep breath he can manage, and takes him into his mouth. Dave makes a fucking fantastic sound and struggles to keep his eyes open.

It’s thicker than his fingers. And different. Karkat should have practiced on something before, a banana or- no, what the fuck, is he seven sweeps old? His mouth has to stretch more than he’s used to. Human dicks are so weird and hard when they’re aroused. He keeps expecting it to thrash, or give, but it doesn’t. He tries to think about what Dave does to him. He takes it deeper, then pulls back and sinks back down. He can only get like half of it in his mouth comfortably. Which seems less than ideal. But it always seemed like most of what Dave liked was the weird, bulbous first few inches of it. God, god human junk is so weird, why the hell did they come out with _this_?

But. The sounds Dave is making… he doesn’t seem to care that Karkat can’t fit the whole thing in. And fuck. If it makes him feel this good, Karkat could do it all day.

“Holy shit, Karkat. Holy shit.”

Karkat pulls back so he can talk.

“Is it good?”

“Uh, yeah? Fucking amazing? Fucking perfect? It’s-“

Karkat takes him back down and he stops talking. There’s something really erotic about it, as gross as it is. Bobbing up and down on this huge meaty appendage shouldn’t be this fun. But his bulge is already out and wiggling around in his pants, just listening to Dave, feeling him in his mouth. Sometimes he accidentally bucks his hips up a little, and apologizes, but fuck if Karkat doesn’t like it. It’s like he’s fucking his _face,_ his _mouth_ \- filthy! - and it’s hot.

“Can you- can you-“

Karkat pulls off and licks his lips. He’s breathing a little harder than usual, because breathing with a dick in his mouth is harder than he anticipated. And he’s horny. That too.

“Can I what?” Oh, is that what his voice sounds like when he does this? It’s lower than usual, and thick and stupid as his tongue works around the retainer. He prays he’ll get used to it soon.

“Can you, w-with your tongue, uh, you know…”

Karkat waits for the rest, but Dave apparently can’t find the words.

“Give me your hand.”

Karkat holds his hand out, and Dave takes his finger into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the tip of it, presses his tongue against the pad of his finger. Karkat’s nook let out a helpful, disgusting spurt of lubrication as his brain supplies what that would feel like on his bulge. Dave actually moans softly, probably imagining the same thing.

Yeah. Yeah, Karkat can do that for him. He pulls his hand out of Dave’s mouth, gets up, and kisses him. It’s messy and filthy and Dave kisses him back hard. He feels his hands fumbling for his pants. He lets him open them up, because _fuck_ his bulge needs to breathe, but then he pushes him away.

“Thish is for _you_.” _God,_ he sounds so stupid with this thing in his mouth.

“Yeah, fuck, okay, but it’s for me and I wanna suck you off so bad right now you don’t even know. Karkat, you have no idea. I could kill a man to swallow your bulge. Like, just, come up here, we can do it to each other, right, 69 420 ride my face and suck me off-”

Karkat’s bulge is thrashing so hard it could probably knock over the fucking refrigerator. Do humans _do_ that to each other? Suck each other off at the same time? They probably do. Filthy fucking animals. It sounds amazing. But Karkat barely knows what he’s doing, and he wants to be able to focus on Dave’s reactions, and he wants to really _listen_ to how it affects him. For science. So he can do it better next time. (and it’s hot, it’s so fucking hot, how dare this ridiculous soft human be so fucking hot)

“Later.” He puts his fingers back in Dave’s mouth before he argues with him, _well that can be my present,_ because he doesn’t know how long he can keep saying no to that shit and by god he’s going to fucking do this. He speaks slowly so that his words are intelligible and even. “Let me do this for you.”

He pulls his fingers out. Dave looks at him with lust-blown eyes and nods.

“Yeah, please, fucking go for it. All aboard to Suckville, population me-“

Karkat sticks his fingers back in Dave’s mouth.  Dave mumbles a little bit around them before stopping, then pulls them out.

“Okay, I get it, I’ll try to pull the ramble train into the station, no guarantees, no money back if-“

“Dave.”

“Please keep going.”

Karkat scoots down and starts licking at him again. There’s fluid leaking out from the tip, and Karkat drinks it down. It tastes organic and weird and kind of salty, but not bad. Karkat will never get over how weird human genitals are, concentrating their slurry in just a few little jets from one tiny tube instead of allowing for seepage throughout the entire appendage.

But it’s hot, if he’s being honest. It’s alien and taboo and perverse. And attached to Dave.

He tries taking it into his mouth, as deep as it’ll go. He gets most of it in before it pokes uncomfortably at the back of his throat, and Dave is making some fucking illegal sounds up there. Apparently too turned on to keep the banter spigot flowing, which is nice. Karkat tries sucking gently as he pulls up.

“Oh my _fucking_ god, Karkat, Karkat, fuck do that again, _please_.”

Karkat does it again. He’s more than happy to do it again, if it makes Dave sound like that. He tries squeezing his weird, fleshy, external reproductive sacs as he does it, and Dave lets out a sound that makes Karkat want to just push his legs up and fuck him until he screams. He seems to like that. He seems to like it a lot.

Karkat pulls back to get his breath back for a second, teasing the sensitive underside with his tongue.

“Karkat, I’m gonna fucking die.”

“No you won’t.”

“You say that, but you don’t fucking know what you feel like right now, _fuck_ , it’s like if a fucking ice cream store was giving out samples except the samples were frozen jizz-“

Karkat hopes that taking Dave down again will cut off this tangent. He’s happy to find that it does. And then.

“-fuck, fucking, my dick is the ice cream cone and-“

He pulls off and quickly wipes his mouth on his sleeve so that he doesn’t drool all over Dave’s stomach. “Dave.”

“You’re the ice cream man, Karkat. You’re my ice cream man and my dick is the cone.”

“Dave. You have to stop. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Fuck, it does, just, you’re making it hard to think, okay, listen-“

“I need to be making it harder, apparently. Pass me the lube.”

“Oh, oh fuck, are you going to finger me?”

“No. I’m going to eat it. Pass me the fucking lube, Dave.”

Dave passes him the lube without more comments about ice cream or candy or fishermen or whatever the fuck else his awful mind wants to pull out mid-blowjob. Karkat doesn’t warm it up, and Dave doesn’t seem to care. He slides two fingers in and takes him down again.

Karkat’s predictions were correct. Dave can no longer pratter on when he’s properly overwhelmed. He just moans out Karkat’s name, tells him how good it feels, and makes these little sounds into the palm of his hand. He sounds so good.

Dave’s moans get quieter, more gasps than noise, and Karkat knows that he’s really close. The spit is dripping down Dave’s cock and making his balls wet, and Karkat’s jaw is starting to ache but he could keep this up for hours.

“Karkat, I’m gonna fucking splooge, fuck, fuck I’m gonna bust a nut all up in this bitch, clear off if you don’t want a mouth of man juice-“

Why is he like this. Why. It never gets easier. Karkat _has_ to talk to him about this shit later. Also, why the fuck does that make Karkat want to laugh instead of tell him to shut the fuck up, stupid, a day of stupid. A blowjob of stupid. He pulls off and looks at Dave. He doesn’t let up with his fingers, though. He keeps them rubbing at Dave’s sweet spot, and relishes the way Dave’s eyes are unfocused when he tries to look at him.

“You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“No, man, that’s all you, making this shit hard enough to break through the core of the earth with your fucking A-list blowjo-”

Karkat wraps his hand around Dave’s dick and starts pumping him softly. And if that’s all it takes for him to shut up, he must be really close. Dave’s eyes cross a little, but he tries to keep them on Karkat as he sinks back down, pulls Dave’s foreskin back and swirls his tongue around the tip. He seems to really like when he pays attention to the underside, so Karkat spends more time there.

“I’m serious- fuck, Karkat, I’m gonna fuckin’ blow.”

“That’s the point.”

“It’ll taste bad.”

“I don’t care.” He licks at the underside again, then takes the head into his mouth.

Dave makes this impossibly hot little sound, and then he’s painting Karkat’s face with his genetic material. He spasms around Karkat’s fingers almost painfully as his head falls back and he groans. Karkat waits until he starts shaking with aftershocks to pull away. He keeps one hand on Dave’s thigh, because Dave likes to keep at least some contact right after he comes, and pops the retainer out of his mouth. He tries not to think about disgustingly gross and wet it is.

His teeth, he missed them. Closing his mouth without a giant hunk of plastic in them.

“Fuck. That was a lot more fun than I thought it would be,” Karkat says. As if it wasn’t fucking thrilling. As if he’s not going to be dropping to his knees and sucking Dave off apropos of nothing for the next few weeks. As if he wouldn’t do it again right now if Dave wasn’t soft and spent.

“Holy shit, Karkat.” Dave’s face is full of open adoration, and his eyes are wide. Is he shocked that Karkat actually enjoyed that? Ridiculous mammal, doesn’t know how fucking important he is. (Karkat should try and let him know more often, maybe)

Dave pulls him up and kisses him, even though he just swallowed his “man juice,” and sloppily pulls Karkat’s pants down and wraps his hand around his bulge.

“You want this? You wanna get fingered? You wanna ride my face? What do you want?”

Fucking idiot, thinking Karkat can just fucking _say_ that shit out loud like Dave can. He doesn’t know how Dave manages it with a straight face. Because he’s not fucking kidding around, he’ll do all those things with a blissed-out look on his face, he’s actually offering all those things in just, plain words, like you can just _say_ that, _hey Karkat do you want to ride my face_ -

“Come on, tell me, I’m your fucking sex genie and I’ll do whatever the fuck you want me to do. Except fuck you. Outta commission on that one. For now.”

“I- I- Can I-“

“Mmm, you sound so good-“

 _Stop that,_ Karkat thinks. Dave makes it impossible to think.

“R- I want to r-ride-“ Karkat gives up, that’s not happening, he’s not a fucking porn star and he cannot say that shit out loud.

Dave gets it. “Hell fucking yeah, come here.” He pulls Karkat up until he’s straddling his shoulders, and without any fucking warning Dave’s just fucking cleaning out his soaking nook with his tongue and wrapping his hand around his bulge. He thrashes his tongue around like it’s a small, hard bulge, pushing it in as deep as he can and making it so that Karkat can’t begin to think about anything that isn’t about the fire between his legs. He lets out a series of ridiculous chips and moans before he remembers to warn Dave, in English words, that he’s about to drench his fucking face. Dave groans and keeps it up, and Karkat is gone.

Dave’s face is a fucking embarrassing, humiliating, stupidly erotic sight when Karkat comes to, drenched in wet pink from cheek to neck. Filthy. And then the fucker licks his lips while maintaining fucking eye contact. A weak little spurt of come oozes out of his nook.

Karkat grabs a few tissues from the bedside table and wipes Dave off, and Dave pulls him down for another set of sloppy kisses. He’s panting when they pull apart.

“You give really good head for an oral virgin.”

Karkat’s face heats up. A compliment, and it might have even been sexy if it wasn’t couched in _that_. “Shut the fuck up! That’s the most disgusting way you could have _possibly_ said that!”

Dave laughs. “Is that a challenge?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Because I can drag some shit out, if you want.”

“I don’t want. I’ve never wanted anything less.”

“That was a really good surprise, though. You got me good.” He grins, and Karkat knows that something stupid is coming. “With your virgin mouth.”

Karkat tries not to laugh, and mostly succeeds.

“Fucking disgusting. If you say the word _virgin_ about me or my mouth one more time, I’m not sucking you off for a week.” This is a bluff. Karkat would probably cave within two days, and he knows it. He’d present some sort of offer so that it’d seem like he’s still in control, and that Dave had to work to win back his favor, but he’s fucking gagging for another go at it. But Dave doesn’t know that.

“Oh, shit. I didn’t mean it. Really. Your mouth is the total opposite of virginal.”

“You know what? I don’t want to hear that, either.”

“Do you want to hear that you’re a dicksucking champ?”

“Dave.”

“Well, you are.”

“I’m glad to hear it wasn’t completely awful. Fuck knows I have a lot of years to make up for with you.”

That actually leaves Dave speechless.

“Oh,” Dave says. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Don’t be weird about it.”

“I’ll be exactly as normal as it takes to get more blowjobs.”

“Good.”

An awkward silence falls between them. Karkat turns to kiss Dave again. In no time at all, he feels Dave’s cock stir up and poke against Karkat’s leg. Which means…

“What would you do for me if I did it again?”

“Wh- right now? Holy shit. Holy shit, right now?”

“Right now.”

“I- holy shit. Buy you a fucking yacht? Anything, I don’t care, fucking name it, I’ll do fucking anything.”

“I accept your offer of fucking anything,” Karkat says. Dave moans and kisses him until Karkat pulls away and worms his way down Dave’s body again. Because he’s nothing if not incredibly generous. He doesn’t tell Dave, but the sounds he makes are payment enough. He’s sure he’ll figure out something else to wring from him later, though.


End file.
